TV Obesity...

So....





It's been a while. Just over two years to be exact. Hope you didn't decide to starve yourself in anticipation assuming the next post was around the corner. You did?? Well, sorry about that. Anyway here I am to satisfy and salivate, View and Review... hopefully I'll stick around a lot longer than I did the first time, if not for you then for the kids... #IDigress.

Disclaimer: I don't have kids.

The other day I was sitting comfortably at home, wife beater on and Supermalt in tow, when I saw an advert for yet ANOTHER televisual cooking extravaganza. Now the foodie in me, (channel your inner foodie with me, thought awesome more daytime food porn to enjoy. Being an avid lover of Masterchef in all its forms, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Hell's Kitchen, Come Dine With Me, The F Word, The Naked Chef, Top Chef, Ready, Steady... OK that's an extreme, but you get the picture you can imagine my initial delight when yet another TV teaser was ready to fulfill my imaginary cooking talents.

But then I got that feeling... you know the feeling you get at a Chinese Buffet when you know you like it but you can't take anymore. The feeling that if you take another bite, you may feel physically sick... and yet someone still swoops along with a menu asking sinisterly, with an evil smirk on their face '' Sir, would you like to see the dessert menu?" as if to tempt and torture me into a fate close to oblivion (In my head anyway). This show was that dessert.

Now I fully understand the attraction of televisual food showmanship. The demonstration of what is essentially an art form that can physically as well as intellectually edify. The chief example coming in the latest series of MasterChef the Professionals, where the standard of ability and talent on display were beyond even the evident perceptions of the Judges Michel Roux Jr and Gregg Wallace. This years show eventually been won by Aussie Ash Mair in the best cookery cook off final I can recall in living memory. (Is there any other type of memory besides living? #Idigress) Art is inherently a passion, cooking at these levels is an art and therefore art demands an audience. Understood and moreover deserved.

The question is have we reached an epidemic of such foodie proportions that even a Jamie Oliver campaign is beyond it's reach? Is even food on a screen a slave to the human elements of Boom and Bust? Food is becoming the latest vice in a long line of over exposed and over saturated televisual phases which have included the zenith's of genre's including Big Brother style shows and Pop Idol like contests. Well if it is destined for the same fate, at least it's content extends to a substance greater than the aforementioned genre's.

At some point someone, somewhere out there in the big bad world of television has to know their limits at the table, and realise when enough is truly enough. Was the Arrest today for a well known celebrity chef for the theft of Cheese from a Tesco's just the start? An indicator of just where this ship is sailing?? What could be next? Jamie Oliver and Gordan Ramsay teaming up to Loot a Morrison's? Ainsley Harriet stuffing aprons into his rucksack in Asda?? It could happen. Either way it does feel that the pendulum for over saturation has possibly swung too far one way and risks the inevitable cheapening of a quite beautiful, ye even historic industry.

For now I will continue to enjoy bearing witness to a golden age of onscreen and off screen cooking, raising the interest and capability of those who enjoy cooking to levels which we the paying public feel privileged to indulge. The pallet is now far more educated and the mind more than ever informed. The hope is that this Renaissance of the kitchen isn't polished off all too soon in the media's well developed taste for a quick buck. Let's hope and Pray, 2012 isn't the year Television gets the "ITIS."

Channeling our Inner Foodies on three...


Bon Appetite!

Taking Away Minus Eating Out =...

So,

I decided to buckle down again and get down with the "cool Kids" and blog. (Yes you can observe my career aspirations...) Blog, Blog and Blog some more. And despite the inherent self inflation necessary to produce an opinion the length of an A4 side about ones opinion, the therapeutic properties are not to be underrated...

Over the course of the last week I have had a finger in each pie and licked down every last one of them. Yes. Well the point I'm getting at is I decided to adopt a scatter gun approach to food tasting, with the stylistic grace of a multiple Maury Povich "father". Hence deciding to have a taste of various eatery Establishments and damning the consequences. Or the consequences damned me... anyway the time taken got me to thinking about the pros and cons to taking away Vs Eating out plus made me lazy enough to write one brief review of the winning establishment.

Eating out.
Pro: Comfort, the chances of your food being pulled out of the bin are decreased 10 fold. Service from staff, pleasant atmosphere. Variety of cultural settings. Quality of food generally higher. It sounds classy to say your eating at a Restaurant. Don't argue, it just does.

Con: Need to be around other people (increasing risk of contracting swine flu or the human condition). Can't be on Facebook, watch TV and BBM at the same time. (People actually do this) Obligation to socialise. Service from staff...

Taking Away

Pro: You get to leave without tipping. (Always tip!) Home comforts. You get to be lazy and you don't have to pretend to be nice. Yeah because you're such a great person who is always nice?! Greater variety. Home delivery. Less chances for something, anything, to go wrong...

Con: Take ways can and do con. Dodgy portions. Less of an opportunity to correct if things go wrong... the likely hood of the kitchen being the cause of increasing mental retardation also increases. You get the cheap stuff. Lack the culinary experience, not to mention you're being charged at least the same price as the sat restaurant crowd... (See what I mean about retardation).

But like anything we eat out and in on a needs must basis, I just thought we should ask ourselves the question of why we choose either at any given point. Meh. I should reflect less on baguette eating tube journeys...


The ultimate combination of both was My Nhi a Chinese restaurant based in NNE London. A wonderfully decorated place with a charming tropical fish tank in plain view. My Nhi generated a very authentic oriental feel in contrast to its location and the decor one would suspect was shipped from China itself. The Chow Mein, Rice and Starter dishes were varied and familiar (The spare ribs were the best I have ever had anywhere) and the opportunity to develop your custom dish was a refreshing and expansive idea. My Nhi Offered both take away and eat in services with home delivery available. The best thing of all was that for such good service and food there were no side effects. Recommend.

(Fill in the details later)

Happy Eating!

Eating Nemo...

So...

Starter: Thanks for the feedback from the last entree' (sorry) it has been really positive, although perhaps not so much for Google... (wordpress migration anyone?)but alas glad you enjoyed and thanks for your props/referrals. Looking forward to becoming diabetic, obese and gastrically incompetent for you guys!

The Main: We come to the meaty part. Meat. Tough, juicy, succulent makes men, men and women... well, attractive. The point is meat is good. Anyway,the above description has found a kin in the restaurant I attended yesterday "805" on Old Kent Road. Like meat, not without its charms, but eaten often will probably drive you mad like cow.

Before turning up I had heard many a rumour good and bad about the 805. One of them being its Nigerian. full stop. I kid, Love my Naija's but it certainly has its fair share of customers with a diverse range of reviews, so I took it upon myself to endeavour to put the full stop behind all of those rumours and get the Lo up on the 805. How cool am I...


805 contrary to most African eatery's is actually rather spacious. Two wall long booths line the walls with a range of tables nicely spread across the dining room. It can get cosy when busy which appears to be often, but you can't blame a place for its success. However you can blame it for not dealing with it.

The lighting perfectly befitted while symbiotically creating a pleasant atmosphere in which to dine. Although it also conversely served to illuminate the lost expressions from people who came, saw, and weren't sure. The seating plan requires more guidance and understanding so people have an idea of where they would like to sit upon entry and adjustments are not being concurrently made to the discomfort of those already seated. I was also 2 hours early in being half an hour late to a dinner, so had ample time to ogle the paint work.

Also in that wondrous time I saw a man hustled out the building attempting to smash the windows in "revenge."(You know that was his gaff as well) and the police make roadside raids. Not to mention I wandered onto a gypsy campsite looking for a cash point... Nonetheless 805 maintained a very professional feel and approach throughout and their staff approachable and helpful.

I ordered one of 805's renowned signature dishes from their Grilled Moniker menu - Cracker fish served with plantain and salad (£15). And it didn't disappoint. The fish was succulent, with a range of flavours one wouldn't find in their local Tesco's, (unlike the alfresco salad) with the portion size particularly large enough to feed two adults and a baby seal at a stretch. Combined with the not too ripe plantain the dish went down a treat. Could've used more garnish with the salad but small graces. However it does make one acutely aware of the need to order the right dish at such an establishment, lest risk the wrath of mediocrity being hinted at here...

Dessert: 805 is certainly a place I would recommend for business dinners, dates and the like. It provides a professional cultural offering to the wider UK community evidenced by its diverse range of guests and serves to offer food of sufficient quality and portions to satisfy the hungriest of Hippos. I wouldn't recommend 805 for large birthday functions although there was a separate room designed for this purpose at extra charge, this too proved a little too snug and immobile for a free following birthday dinner. However when 805 cook they can cook and well, it is just a question of when. Worth checking out if you are ever in the South London area at a loose end and looking for a nice relaxed place to chow down, just don't bring an army.

Gourmerating of 74% (Give or take!)

Thanks for reading, also your mum likes my cooking.

Restaurant: 805 eatery.

Location: 805 Old Kent Road. London, SE15 1NX

Website: http://www.805restaurant.com

Contact: 0207 639 0808

Opening Times: Variable

Transport: Good parking facilities in the surrounding area, increased after hours of control operation. Good public transport links with a range of buses stopping just outside from Elephant and Castle tube, and South Bermondsey, New Cross and New Cross Gate rail stations.

Hello there, you!

So...


I thought I would join the revolution and start up a blog seeing as it's Thursday, question times on and it is the right thing to do. Although I do wonder at what point something ceases to be a revolution and becomes the norm? I suppose once CNN and Sky News start awkwardly quoting it on their headline news around some crime or pointless life story belonging more to channel 4. Where was I again? Ah yes, the purpose of this blog...


Which is in fact to glorify food!! Yes Oliver Twist couldn't have said it better; Food glorious food we're happy to try it! Well at least I certainly am anyway, but I could argue speak for the human condition which depends on food to survive. I mean if you don't eat feel free to hit the "x" on the top right, if you do then well I would read, share, like, twit, fart whatever takes your fancy this. But that's just me...


So... (we're getting there) I have decided to embark upon a journey. A journey which may take me to some dark scary places, scintillating peaks and many a toilet seat but alas all for the good of bringing you, the public, the Lo down (or is it Down lo?). Care to join me? We will peak into the common spots people like to splash their £2 on "Texas" chicken and chips, to the not so common spots for the "finest" cuisine, generating the most honest recommendations to help you avoid wasting money in the midst of the recession and enriching unscrupulous kitchens.


So... third time lucky, tonight I embarked upon my first review on an eatery establishment; "Eko Wine Bar and Resturant" on Homerton High St, located in the belly of Hackney. They are a relatively new Nigerian cuisine restaurant offering both eat-in and take-away services, offering a range of well known and celebrated dishes fresh out of the Nigerian nation.


One would assume therefore that operating out of one of London's "African Islands" the wisdom to produce tasty, mouth stimulating food akin to that used to by the general ex patriate populous would take the higher priority over aesthetic style. Wrong.


The venue is spacious upon entry, fitting for small parties and group dinners. The decor is moderate and understated creating a relaxing feel and flat screen televisions adorn the walls ensuring that one never feels bored should the urge come to stare into nothingness. (This in the absence of any notable art). The staff welcoming and friendly with a positive charming demeanour. (Although it could've being my cologne brought earlier on in the day... although one suspects this may have generated the opposite response. Hmmm.) Overall the decor and feel of Eko can not be faulted.


As sure you saw coming as a Michael Jackson Movie, HOWEVER!


The food left one not panting for more, or even water, but looking for the nearest fire exit to make a quick getaway without parting with your money. I chose to have a stab at the Suya (£6) and Assorted meat dish (£)10. Stab was an apt term. Granted Suya is a dish which if cooked correctly as some manage to do leaves little room for competitors... however this was the equivalent of this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Uny_Vm7P3w running against Colin Jackson. Some hurdles however favourable just couldn't be over come.


The portions seemed padded out, not very convincingly, while the flavour left little to the imagination. No wait... yep nothing. Bland, lacking spice and for the price, one would expect far far more. Very disappointing. Could have used some more onions and marination, but I will move onto...


The assorted meat.


Assortment: a collection containing a variety of related but varying items.


Note the word Variety.


There were in fact only 2 types of meat and one mystery. Disappointingly no tripe (Shaki) which is a staple in any Nigerian mixed platter and again more padding out with stew and the "Mystery Meat" which I believe was snail, but I'll leave that up to Mi5 and Jack Bauer to investigate. Their website states they only use the freshest of ingredients from Nigeria, yet the flavour was again bland suggesting consistency in production or even fridge-freezing while the presentation left a lot to be desired.


I'll conclude here as I didn't want to open up with a restaurant bashing, but like love for a child, my love for good food ensures standards are maintained... honestly! Eko has great potential, it is in a prime location for its market and the environment is welcoming and comfortable. However more effort must be made in ensuring it doesn't take this for granted and allow its kitchen standards to drop upon the reliance of regulars accustomed to their tastes.


I must give a rating without having a power trip... 55% Gourmet-able.


Thanks for the read, now go dip into your mothers fridge.


Restaurant: Eko Wine Bar and Restaurant.

Location: 160 Homerton High Road, London, E9 6JA.

Website: http://www.ekorestaurant.co.uk

Contact: 0208 985 7345

Opening Times: Variable

Transport: Reasonable Parking in surrounding area. No controlled Parking zones. Nearest Public Transport includes Homerton and Hackney Rail Station. I recommend private transportation.

**I promise it won't be as long again, in fact I can guarantee it. Because I don't have the time, nor the power nap power. Plus intro's are always like that aren't they? hmmm.**